How I ALMOST Became The Other Woman...

    Since February is the month of love, I thought I'd share a dating story from my past. Disclaimer: Names and minor details have been changed to protect the innocent. 

I usually don't add random people from Facebook. If you add me and I don't know you, you're not becoming my friend. But for no reason other than pure attraction, I added Adam. He immediately sent me a message saying that I was very pretty and looked very familiar.

I don't remember meeting him, but that's the story for a lot of people who I've befriended in the city where I went to college. I've met so many people through others that I can't remember them all; Adam fit that category.

He was a charming guy and just my type: educated and articulate, well-traveled, funny, family-oriented, and handsome. I was immediately attracted to him. We began to converse on a daily basis and eventually made plans to go on a date. Unfortunately, our work schedules kept us from having our date. After two failed attempts, we finally got the chance to meet.

He'd invited me to his friend's house for a small get together. I was apprehensive at first because I was the girl who didn't know anyone but Adam's friends were very nice. Alcohol was involved, which I'm sure helped his friends to be more friendly haha!

I had a blast with them that night. Everyone was on their worst behavior, cracking jokes, dancing, and having a great time. Adam and I were definitely vibing the entire night. A couple of his male friends were extra flirtatious, which I thought was odd even after I'd told them that I was there with Adam. But I just brushed it off and stayed away from any messy situations. I know how some guys are. They'll test you, to see if you're the loyal type. I took a mental note of this.

Anyway, plans were made to go to a late night diner for breakfast after the party. Only the couples came to the diner, including Adam and me. Good food and good conversation at 3 a.m. was very reminiscent of my college days and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I'd asked Adam's best friend if he was a ladies man and they both vehemently denied it. Mental note number two.

Afterwards, Adam drove me back to my car. While we were making future date plans, his phone rang. Then it rang again. It rang for a total of four times. Me being the observant person that I am, asked him why he wouldn't answer his phone. He brushed it off, saying that it was his friend probably calling him to ask him where he was going. Mental note number three.

After dodging his attempts to kiss me, I told him to let me know that he'd gotten home safely. I went home and called him to make sure that he'd made it back to his place. He didn't answer and I just concluded that he'd probably passed out. After all, it was 4 in the morning. I began to get ready for bed.

I'd just gotten out of the shower when my phone rang. Adam's name popped up on my caller ID so I picked up. A woman's voice answers. This was our conversation:

Me: Hello?
Her: Hello? Did you call Adam's phone?
Me: ....Yes I did. Is he okay?
Her:...Yes he's fine...who are you?
Me: I'm Christa...who are you?
Her: This is Adam's girlfriend.
Me: OMG!!
Her: Did you meet him tonight??
Me: Yes I did. I went to his friend's house for a birthday party.
Her: Tony's?
Me: Yes.
Her: Are you and Adam talking?
Me: For the past couple of weeks, yes we have.
Her: Did anything happen tonight?
Me: Between him and I? Absolutely not. I've only known him for a couple of weeks.
Her: Are you guys just friends?
Me: Technically yes, but he never told me that he had a girlfriend. I'm not that type of woman to pursue guys who are dating someone else.
Her: I understand. I'm sorry, I don't want you to think I'm crazy but I had to know who you were. Something didn't feel right about the way he'd been acting so I had to know.
Me: I completely understand. I'm so sorry that you had to find out like this. Are you okay?
Her: No, but I will be. Thank you for telling me.
Me: You're welcome. Goodnight.

I hung up the phone in a complete state of shock! How had this happened?! And why was it happening to me?? I went to bed disbelieving that I'd been tricked...but as the wheels of my mind began to spin out of control, there were subtle signs, the most noticeable one being that after keeping his phone faced upward the whole night, when he got those calls after leaving the diner, he turned his phone upside down and wouldn't answer them.

The following morning, I awoke with 2 missed calls and a text from an unknown number, asking me to please call whenever I got the chance. Although I knew it was his girlfriend, I still felt bad for her. But having been the girlfriend who has been cheated on, I returned her calls. I returned them because I know what it's like to be lied to and made to feel like I'm crazy for having a woman's intuition that's never steered me wrong. I returned her calls because not only did I have nothing to hide, I felt a responsibility to clear the air, woman to woman. And finally, I called her back because I would want someone to do the same for me.

She asked me lots of questions and I answered them all honestly. Honey I spilled ALL THE BEANS. Apparently, Tiffany had been his girlfriend for a couple years and they practically lived together! She told me that she'd been out of town for the past couple of days and hadn't seen him. She knew that he was going out with his friends, all of whom were either married or had girlfriends, even though they did not act like it at all! I was disgusted!!

She kept apologizing, saying that she hoped that she didn't seem crazy. I told her that she had nothing to apologize for because she wasn't doing anything wrong. If you're in an exclusive relationship with someone, it should just be the two of you!  She informed me of the lies that he'd told her and I knew she needed to hear the truth. She'd been through a lot with him already and this was devastating to her. We ended our conversation with me telling her that she deserves to be treated with the uppermost respect.

I immediately deleted and blocked him from ALL social networks!! I also deleted his number. I refused to be associated with a liar and a cheater!!!!

Now, some of you may be wondering why I shared this story. I shared it because I didn't think I'd have this story to tell! Never in my life have I had a guy try to date me and he had a girlfriend. I don't know what made him think that it was acceptable to deceive both his girlfriend and me! I also shared this story because I'm a forthright adult, who doesn't play mind games with immature guys nor do I settle for second place!

I had to do some deep retrospecting after that episode. I'm a firm believer that you attract what you are. But this was one instance in which I was charmed by a wolf in sheep's clothing. I was thankful to have found out what a jerk he was at the very beginning before I'd started investing real feelings. And I really do hope that his girlfriend has moved on and is healing from that ideal.

The older I've become, the more I realize that some people just don't grow up! These types of people get into relationships and get distracted by others when they think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If you haven't heard it before, the grass is greener where you water and nurture it. You have to nurture your relationship if you want it to be a happy and healthy one. And if you aren't ready to be faithful to one person and one person only, don't get into a relationship. Stay single and be selfish by yourself.

Hope you all enjoyed my story! Whether or not you're in a relationship, I encourage you all to be an honest adult. You don't want to put yourself at risk of being featured on the next episode of Snapped!! Peace!!