- N*ggas ain't sh*t but heauxs and tricks.
- I'm really focused on my career.
- It's been proven difficult to settle down with a man who isn't mentally ready for a commitment.
- N*ggas ain't sh*t but heauxs and tricks...Nine times out of ten, I don't really think this, it's just hilarious to say/sing.
- This Ruth hasn't yet been found by her Boaz.
- I refuse to be one of the multiple choices in an equation of sideline chicas.
And so on & so forth. The answer to that question is never one that can be directly answered except in the vaguest but realist of ways, "It isn't in my destiny as of right now." I can write this post because I've passed the phase of "Why me?". There comes a time when you come to terms with how things are in your life. Being single isn't something that I shout from the mountaintops but I'm not ashamed of it either. It's my choice. Yes, I could be with someone but I'd be settling and therefore wasting my time. I know it sounds cliche but there's a reason why you're single. Whenever you find the true reason, confront it, deal with it, and accept it. There are women who are single because they're looking for characteristics in a man that they don't even possess; they need to focus on improving themselves. Some men are single because they don't have the patience for just one woman; they need to grow up.
I sometimes have to ignore the faint ticking of my biological clock and be at peace that my journey will mimic no one else's. Yes I want to be happily married with kids but now is not the time. So instead of moping around with the aura of desperation, I've focused my attention on the areas of my life that need enhancing. Now, please don't mistake my positive words as a sign that I haven't faced moments of loneliness and sadness, because I definitely have. I just choose to be optimistic. A lot of single females believe that completion comes from being with a man. This can be true under certain circumstances but only if you're complete as a whole first. You can't be with anyone if you can't stand being by yourself. So enjoy the journey of singledom. I can't say what it'll lead to, but why not try and make the best effort of it?
Comment and let me know your thoughts about being single. Thanks for reading! Peace my loves!
I sometimes have to ignore the faint ticking of my biological clock and be at peace that my journey will mimic no one else's. Yes I want to be happily married with kids but now is not the time. So instead of moping around with the aura of desperation, I've focused my attention on the areas of my life that need enhancing. Now, please don't mistake my positive words as a sign that I haven't faced moments of loneliness and sadness, because I definitely have. I just choose to be optimistic. A lot of single females believe that completion comes from being with a man. This can be true under certain circumstances but only if you're complete as a whole first. You can't be with anyone if you can't stand being by yourself. So enjoy the journey of singledom. I can't say what it'll lead to, but why not try and make the best effort of it?
Comment and let me know your thoughts about being single. Thanks for reading! Peace my loves!
Christa, as usual I LOVE your post. This topic is very relevant for women in their mid-twenties. Every time we log into Facebook another friend has gotten engaged, married or has just given birth. Talk about pressure!
ReplyDeleteNow, don't get me wrong, I am happy for all of them; however, I feel as though a lot of people miss out on being single because of the fear that they will end up alone forever. Instead of taking time to understand and love themselves they try to find the first man that will promise them companionship. If you do not know who you truly are then how do you know if you and this "companion" will be compatible once you are married, let alone 25-50 years down the road.
I think being single, learning to love yourself, and finding out what you are passionate about (besides a man) is healthy and an important step towards being a better partner when you do find the right one.
TWIN, thanks for always being on the same page!
Miss you!
It's an immense pressure! But you're right, I'd rather deal with being single and learning about myself now than deal with a divorce 10 years after I get married. I think the divorce rate would be significantly lower if we all slowed down a bit and got to know ourselves a little better.
DeleteThank you so much for reading! We have remained connected this long because we get each other. I LOVE YOU ESTHER!! Miss you MORE :-*
Being single is NOT a disease. Also, being in a relationship is a choice. Let's dig into that a little more. Anybody can be in a relationship. I think the focus should be to find the right person (not the fancy car and 6 figures), but someone who accepts you for all your bullshit and vice versa. If you come across someone good (someone who will come 30 min across town so you don't have to go to work in the cold) then take the blessing.
ReplyDeleteAs for that biological clock...it's an issue, but life changes so quickly to focus on something that hasn't ran out yet. I'm not single, but I'm not hopping on baby train any time soon. Everything is a process.
*drops mic*
*starts slow audience clap* They don't hear you though Lauren!! I'll tell you what is a disease: impatience. It's running rampant and unfortunately, no one seems to care until after the fact.
DeleteChrista...schwoo...so you're coming real like this in your blog now huh? Okay okay, I hear you and understand! From a male perspective, if I can, we face challenges dealing with being single as well. To begin with, we also deal with our friends getting married, having children, and being successful in what appears to be happy marriages. In addition, we face the sense of urgency to make things happen as soon as we can because it seems as if we are running out of time as well. And yes, when we see our friends with someone nice on their arms, we may begin to question ourselves and wonder: "what's wrong with me?'
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that we should come to grips with it, enjoy it while we can, but prepare at the same time; allow me to explain. You mentioned in your post "...they need to focus on improving themselves. Some men are single because they don't have the patience for just one woman; they need to grow up:" this is an ill statement and very true I might add. From a male perspective; while I am single I am preparing! For example; if you need to work on maturity while you are single, take advantage of the freedom and work on it. If there is a degree or trade that you would like to possess, take the free time you have to possess it! Also, if there are some credit issues that you need to get in order, get it in order while we have the chance. If there are some dreams you would like to fulfill, fulfill those dreams! Finally, if there are some investment ventures that you would like to contribute to, go ahead and do that! These are but a few examples and I am sure that others could think of a whole lot more. When you look at the totality of the aforementioned, when in the process of accomplishing, one will not worry about a companion, he's to concerned with handling business and being productive. Production breeds production! I for one believe that if you are a positively productive single person, those same attributes have a better chance of carrying over into a marriage.
You need to write a book by the way lol...100
Bronal, thanks for sharing your insight from a male's point of view. It's nice to hear a man's honesty!
DeleteAnd a book is definitely in my future. How did you know?? lol
Glad to do it!
DeleteLOL...well, I know that I am about to use incorrect grammar right now, and I know you are an English Teacher and all but uruh..um, a brotha be knowing things Christa haha!