"My best friend recently got into a new relationship. The problem is that she includes him in all of our plans! How do I tell her that I don't want him around all the time without hurting her feelings?"
I've been on both sides of this equation. Let me tell you how it goes:
When I'm dating a guy, I enjoy spending time a lot of time with him. My day is a bit brighter, I smile a lot wider, and I float on cloud 9 on a continuous basis. Those feelings are addicting, so I want to experience them all the time. He becomes a part of my life by choice and we immerse ourselves into each other's worlds.
So it makes sense that I'd want the people who mean the most to me to know each other and hang out. It makes me happy when we're all together.
On the flip side, I've sat at a restaurant at the end of a stressful day, ready to catch up when she walks in hand in hand with her latest, giggling and halfway unaware of my presence once they sat down. I was annoyed that she didn't update me that he was coming. Sure I wanted to eventually meet him but I wanted the choice of when and where. I told her how I felt afterwards, she apologized, and now it's water under the bridge.
Give your best friend some time and space to adjust to her new relationship but also tell her exactly how you feel. Don't sugar coat a word. If she's your best friend, she'll listen. She may not even realize that she's being inconsiderate!
Tell her that girlfriend time is sacred to you and while you don't mind him tagging along sometimes, you want some designated bestie time, even though you know she'll go home and more than likely tell him everything that you talked about haha!
In the event that she still wants him around regardless of your expressed feelings, you have the choice of not hanging around them as much. There are those who don't get what you're saying until they've experienced it themselves. She'll realize that she misses you eventually!!
I hope that helps! Thanks for your question and best of luck! Peace!
When I'm dating a guy, I enjoy spending time a lot of time with him. My day is a bit brighter, I smile a lot wider, and I float on cloud 9 on a continuous basis. Those feelings are addicting, so I want to experience them all the time. He becomes a part of my life by choice and we immerse ourselves into each other's worlds.
So it makes sense that I'd want the people who mean the most to me to know each other and hang out. It makes me happy when we're all together.
On the flip side, I've sat at a restaurant at the end of a stressful day, ready to catch up when she walks in hand in hand with her latest, giggling and halfway unaware of my presence once they sat down. I was annoyed that she didn't update me that he was coming. Sure I wanted to eventually meet him but I wanted the choice of when and where. I told her how I felt afterwards, she apologized, and now it's water under the bridge.
Give your best friend some time and space to adjust to her new relationship but also tell her exactly how you feel. Don't sugar coat a word. If she's your best friend, she'll listen. She may not even realize that she's being inconsiderate!
Tell her that girlfriend time is sacred to you and while you don't mind him tagging along sometimes, you want some designated bestie time, even though you know she'll go home and more than likely tell him everything that you talked about haha!
In the event that she still wants him around regardless of your expressed feelings, you have the choice of not hanging around them as much. There are those who don't get what you're saying until they've experienced it themselves. She'll realize that she misses you eventually!!
I hope that helps! Thanks for your question and best of luck! Peace!
I can dig it! The bruhs experience this on the flip side too. What can I say...I agree hehehe!
ReplyDeleteHaha! I'm sure the fellas have some interesting stories about the tag along friend!
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