Tell your Friends "No"

I believe that a person's friends reflect on who they are as a person. This doesn't mean that you are exactly like your friends but you share some mutual interests, enjoy each other's company, etc. But what happens when you begin to notice the idiotic choices your friend has been making? Do you call them out, expressing your genuine concern? The answer is no most times and here's why: 



We don't want to hurt our friend's feelings. Sure, you know that she loves you and takes or listens to most of your advice. She knows that you want the very best for her. But what you as that concerned friend must understand is that your definition of happiness may be different from hers. You may be the logical friend, who knows that having sex with a guy she just met isn't the smartest or safest choice, while she's intoxicated to the "living in the moment" lifestyle. And when she you calls you crying or better yet, you read her FB statuses and tweets that range from blissfully ecstatic to depressingly suicidal in the short span of 2 months, you know that you should've warned her and told her "No. Don't do it. Slow down and think." Nowadays, we choose for what we want to accept responsibility. We should start taking responsibility for being honest with our friends. I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of people in committed relationships cheating, the inferior ways people treat each other, or unwise choices concerning money. If your friend tells you that he's thinking about using his rent money to take a trip to Vegas, giving the lame YOLO (you only live once) excuse, you should feel obligated to tell him "NO" because if he gets evicted, he may be crashing on your couch, hitting you up for money, wanting to know if you can pick up some more Apple Jacks on your way home from work because he ate it all...I digress. 


But let's think about this: a true friend should be able to stomach your truths. And you should be able to hear the same. Looking back over the years, I've become detached from some friends because of their self-deprecating choices. They've wondered at my distance and I never vocalized my reasons because I was afraid to damage our friendship. What I should've done was be honest and accept the outcome.  Luckily, I've learned from those mistakes and now try to surround myself with the few friends who know that when it's all said and done, our opinions come from a place of love and respect. Your friendships are relationships, wherein there should be trust, encouragement, loyalty, and unquestionable acceptance. And whatever characteristics you're devoid of, your friend(s) should supplement. If your friendships aren't this way, you need to do some reevaluating. Who has the time for fake friendships? I sure don't. I've got a life to live and the less friendship stress I have to deal with, the better. 


Peace loves! Until next time :-)